classroom English - : SELF CONSCIOUSNESS We often forget to keep in

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classroom: English

SELF CONSCIOUSNESS

We often forget to keep in touch with our ability to be self reflective, especially when an event in the present time touches on an old, painful event from our youth that causes an "emotional hijack".
by Henk Galenkamp

On the edge between Emotional intelligence and Eastern Philosophy

In the way Daniel Goleman looks at emotional intelligence and we, in our expert group "Care for the pupil" of CPS, give our training emotional intelligence for educational teams, the word "Self consciousness" plays a dominant role. It's the very basis of the development of emotional intelligence. In each other theme, like impulse control, self motivation or empathy, we refer to self consciousness.

What is self consciousness? It's a word with deep meaning. At the surface sometimes we call it self refection. Considering yourself, your behaviour, your drives, your emotions. We often forget to keep in touch with our ability to be self reflective, especially when an event in the present time touches on an old, painful event from our youth that causes an "emotional hijack". The human being is, partly, very rational. We can use our brain to think and make rational choices. Nevertheless a big part of our decisions derive from unconscious processes, driven by lower levels from our brain. They may bring us uncomfortable situations, sometimes even in prison. Every time when we try to increase our self consciousness, ignoring these unconscious layers, we feel these painful parts again.

In our training "emotional intelligence" we work at a practical level. We ask our students to be self reflective.

For example: Are you aware of your values? What is the relation of these values ? What is your value system? Which events from the past caused changes in your value system? What happens to you, when someone affects your values? How do you deal with your emotions when that happens?

In this way our students also become conscience of their qualities and traps, the way they use their emotions like fear, grief and anger and the effect of their behaviour on other people.

In Eastern Philosophy the concept consciousness plays a dominant role, especially in the practical exercises, like yoga, meditation and Eastern kinetics. People are taught to develop attention to what happens in the 'here and now', both inside and outside yourself. These are ways to increase our consciousness. To make clear how inner processes work.

For example: In a specific yoga exercise I'm searching the boundaries of my body, the place where pain occurs. I discover how my body moves away from this pain every time my attention slackens. Every time I search the painful place again. At the moment I can really admit my pain, I discover that it's the fear for my pain, that does drop my attention. That when I'm ready to admit my pain completely, the pain vanishes and my body becomes a bit more flexible. Than I discover that what I'm doing my whole life is this: going away from pain. The implication in itself painful aswell. From this moment I dare to stay connected to myself in painful confrontations.

In psychotherapy we also search for an increase in consciousness. How do we cause our own annoying situations? What pattern can be seen in our life? What are the deepest convictions about ourselves, other people or the world, that causes these patterns? Are these convictions right? Or do we make them right by ourselves? Are these convictions caused by childlike interpretations of painful events? Are you willing to look at these convictions, become conscious about them and their (painful) implications. Are you willing to let them go? To accept the uncertainty of a world without these convictions?

For example: He always thought that what he did, was never good enough. It could always be better, more complete, more fundamental. This made him very successful in his work. But he became exhausted. It made him very critical towards others. People avoided him because of his critical remarks. It made him please other people in order to bind them to him. Eventually he didn't know who he was anymore. In his therapeutic process he discovered that, although it has never been mentioned aloud, being the fourth child within six years in his family made him less welcome. He had always felt that. It had made him do his utter best, in order to justify his being on earth. Nevertheless, it was never enough. When he had gone trough the painful process of this discovery, he finally found some peace. Accepting good can be good enough, his success in his work increased.

These are three examples where increase in consciousness supports people in their personal and professional growth. I could tell hundreds or more examples, both from my own experience and from EQ-training, therapeutic processes I counsel and from my work as a teacher Zen meditation.

In his book "Destructive Emotions. A dialogue with the Dalai Lama", Daniel Goleman describes a five days long search of a group of Western researchers in the field of psychology, philosophy and neurology, with dominant leaders of Buddhist Philosophy, including the Dalai Lama. They attempted to couple the results of Western neurological and psychological research to the ancient wisdom from the East. Together they face the ultimate challenge to banish the three destructive emotions, from witch the human civilisation threatens to go down: in Buddhist words: eagerness, rage or hate and self-deception or illusion. These destructive emotions are perhaps a rudimental relic from ancient times in humankind to survive. It looks like it's possible to curb the parts in the brain which are connected to these emotions and to stimulate other parts, connected to joy and equanimity.
It's research of consciousness: research at the edge of matter and spirit. Goleman expresses the hope that that this will lead to more effective ways to change destructive emotions and forces in ourselves into empathy, peacefulness, compassion and inner peace.

Henk Galenkamp is member of the board of the Foundation EQ Europe Education and trainer & educational consultant at CPS (Christian Centre for Educational Development) in Amersfoort, Netherlands. He also has a practice as psychotherapist, coach and supervisor. He has been practising Zen meditation for more than 20 years and is a Zen teacher.
Together with Aat van der Harst and Frits Roelofs he wrote the book "Development of Emotional Intelligence. Practice book for teachers" (which will be translated in English). He also wrote a book on school culture. In all different parts of his work, he sees the importance of emotional intelligence for being successful in relationship and career. He is especially interested in the field 'EQ and leadership' and the way school leaders can change their school into a professional organisation.

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